Today I am not feeling happy and chipper. I am feeling down. I don’t want to do this anymore. I’m wondering why this has happened to us. Why can’t we even get an explanation for why we don’t have a baby? I’m tired. I’m tired of this consuming my life. I’m tired of shots and pills and pregnancy tests. I’m worried that if this if doesn’t work that we won’t be able to afford another transfer for a long time. And honestly I’m worried that I can’t do another transfer and go through this psychological trauma another time.

I’m not feeling any symptoms and I tested negative on a FRER last night. There’s still hope, but from what I’ve read 5 days past transfer is a pretty popular day to test positive. I keep telling myself there’s still a chance, but part of me feels deep in my heart that this didn’t work. I can’t stop wanting to cry. And in addition to all of that, the PIO shot must have hit a nerve last night because I have pain going down my entire right leg. I could barely sleep because of the discomfort. And I’m walking with a limp. Hopefully this, too, will run its course.

So welcome to my pity party. Where you get no baby, but you can get permanent damage to your body from shots and hormones. Not to mention the weight gain on this already more to love body. Will this ever end?