Thank you to all who reached out to me after my previous post. Sometimes I don’t think anyone really reads this blog and so I use it for more of a public journal. I am OVER my pity party!!!  I’m still waiting on results and still crying sporadically, but I’m also holding out hope and planning ahead in case this round doesn’t work. We will know soon enough.

Otherwise, everything is just fine. The meds are super easy at this point–3 pills a day, one estrogen patch to be changed every three days, and one progesterone in oil shot every night. Not too bad considering what we have done in the past.

Thank you to my dear dear friends, near and far.  Thank you for loving me and supporting me.  And thank you for sending messages of chocolate and making me laugh!!!  Love and hugs!

 

 

 

Today I am not feeling happy and chipper. I am feeling down. I don’t want to do this anymore. I’m wondering why this has happened to us. Why can’t we even get an explanation for why we don’t have a baby? I’m tired. I’m tired of this consuming my life. I’m tired of shots and pills and pregnancy tests. I’m worried that if this if doesn’t work that we won’t be able to afford another transfer for a long time. And honestly I’m worried that I can’t do another transfer and go through this psychological trauma another time.

I’m not feeling any symptoms and I tested negative on a FRER last night. There’s still hope, but from what I’ve read 5 days past transfer is a pretty popular day to test positive. I keep telling myself there’s still a chance, but part of me feels deep in my heart that this didn’t work. I can’t stop wanting to cry. And in addition to all of that, the PIO shot must have hit a nerve last night because I have pain going down my entire right leg. I could barely sleep because of the discomfort. And I’m walking with a limp. Hopefully this, too, will run its course.

So welcome to my pity party. Where you get no baby, but you can get permanent damage to your body from shots and hormones. Not to mention the weight gain on this already more to love body. Will this ever end?

And now we wait. All went well today. Our little embryo was grade AB, which our doctor said was good. Other than suffering from a VERY full bladder, there was no discomfort. I think the Motrin and the Valium made it an easy process. Now I bed rest for three days. (I’m already bored! 😂)